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John James, founder of The Grief Recovery Institute

John W. James

Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve


Ask The Grief Experts

How Do I Accept the Things I Did? (Published 8-23-11)

Q:

I lost my grandma in October. She raised me almost my whole life. I left home at around 16 years old and I came back to see her every once and awhile. I knew she loved me and wanted me so badly in her life again. The week I moved back my dad told me, go see your grandma. I told him I would but I had things to do for unpacking, and my son. A few days later I get a call from my dad saying she passed away. I kick myself every day that I didn’t say anything to her when I should have.

My dad and I were the only family here in California and took care of her every day. She was the only thing my dad really had. When her funeral came around I never really, truly grieved. I was trying to be strong for my Dad and my son. Now I can’t stop thinking about her. Almost every day something reminds me of her. Every day I cry. I miss her so much. I pray every night, talking to her. I have a picture of her in my truck that I say is my guardian angel. Will I ever be able to accept this? Will I ever stop crying? How do I accept the things I did?


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